Hoping for an Unsportsmanlike Championship Sunday – Or Not

ROBBINS NEST, The New York Extra/TheNYExtra.com

By Lenn Robbins

Fortunately for us true fans, last week’s Divisional Playoff games were so exhilarating that not even Roger Goodell’s Wardens of Decorum (The WOD Squad) could detract from the utter euphoria we experienced.

The No Fun League did its Debbie Downer best to take all the fun out of the playoff games and we fear that trend will continue Sunday in the Conference Championship games. In fact, we suspect that buried in the 650,000 emails uncovered in the investigation of the Washington Football Team are orders to penalize any player who does not conduct himself like an android, or Bill Belichick.

Let’s review some of the actions of The WOD Squad during these playoffs.

Tyreek Hill did not get penalized for relieving a cheerleader of her pom poms and breaking into a celebration shuffle that should get him on Dancing with The Stars. The league later fined him $12,875. Patrick Mahomes escorted the Cheetah back to the sideline before he committed a truly heinous act of joy, like tossing a football into the stands, which costs a cool, $7,210.

Hill was next spotted flashing a peace sign, or victory sign, at Buffalo DB’s Jordan Poyer and Micah Hyde as he capped a 64-yard catch and run with 1:02 left that gave the Chiefs a 33-29 lead. Hill was not penalized. Hill was not fined. Which is OK. Peace out.

Except Hill was fined for the exact same offense in 2019 in a game against the Broncos. Which makes unsportsmanlike conduct the most misunderstood and arbitrary penalty enforcement since pass interference.

Pom poms? Clearly unsportsmanlike. Peace sign? Not so clear.

It’s difficult to make Tom Brady a sympathetic figure but the WOD Squad almost did. Brady got popped in the mouth by Von Miller. The bloodied goat bleated his displeasure at crew chief Shawn Hochuli’s officiating team, drawing his first career unsportsmanlike conduct flag.

“He got in my face in an aggressive manner and used abusive language,” Hochuli said, via the pool report. Hochuli clearly has never been in the Fairway on the Upper West Side the week before Rosh Hashanah.

Brady’s penalty was one of three unsportsmanlike conduct flags in the Bucs-Rams game.

We’re not blaming the officials (well, sort of). They’ve got a lot of field to watch and a lot of ground to cover. Many are more fit than their predecessors but some still couldn’t get 25 yards downfield without hopping on a golf cart.

The zebras are simply carrying out their marching orders, which is why there were 1.28 unsportsmanlike conduct penalties per team this season. That includes taunting and here’s where a line should be drawn.

We’re not a fine of taunting, you know, a defensive player standing over an offensive player. Pom poms, fine. Peace sign, OK. Middle finger, not so good. For unsportsmanlike conduct, perhaps Tampa Bay center Ryan Jensen might consider writing a book this offseason.

WASINGTON TOXINS: Speaking of misconduct, there are reports that the Washington Football Team is going to announce its new name as the Commanders on Tuesday. We thought the Washington Toxins was a more fitting name, considering owner Dan Snyder has been accused of sexual misconduct and fostering a toxic work environment. A skull and crossbones logo might resemble the Buccaneers’ logo a little too closely but the trefoil is up for grabs.

RAMS -3.5 over 49ers – Home field is a non-issue because Rams owner Stan Kroenke is learning that payback is the queen bitch. He moved the Rams from St. Louis to Los Angeles and then moved them to his swanky new SoFi stadium in Inglewood, bringing along the Chargers to serve as a warmup band. But SoFi has become the 49ers spring training site, warmer than San Fran with nicer amenities.

Serves him right.

We like everything about the 49ers except one subtle concern (the O-Line) and one glaring concern known as QB Jimmy Garoppolo. A lot is being made of the fact the 49ers beat the Packers without scoring an offensive touchdown and this is all Jimmy G’s fault. But it’s not as if Aaron Rodgers torched the Niners, right?

So, the head says Niners. But, the gut says Rams. They’ve lost six straight to their northern rivals, including both games this season. The defense has an added dimension now with Von Miller. Throw in the feel-good Matt Stafford story and it sure seems the Inglewood Rams are due.

$ CHIEFS -7 over Bengals – How great is this Cincy story? How cool would it be to see the 49ers and Bengals in the Super Bowl? It isn’t going to happen.

After not getting back to the Super Bowl last season and dropping to 3-4 this season after a 27-3 powder at Tennessee, the Chiefs have fallen out of favor. But the defense has gotten much better, especially if Tyrann Mathieu (concussion) plays. It sure would be fun to see him matched up on another LSU alum by the name of Ja’Marr Chase.

 And there’s that Patrick Mahomes magician. After what we saw last weekend, it’s impossible to overstate this: He’s only 26, which means barring injury, we will be treated to a decade of QB play the likes of which we’ve never seen. Ever.

BONUS PICKS: First unsportsmanlike conduct penalty – Odell Beckham Jr. Runner-up, Mathieu (see an LSU connection here?).

Jimmy G turnovers over/under, two – Over. Two picks and a fumble seem about right.

Joe Mixon rushing yards, 56.5 – Under. Mr. Mixon, meet Derek NNadi and Jarran Reed.

Travis Kelce receiving yards, 76 – Over. He’s fallen off the radar as players such Hill and even Byron Pringle have excelled. Kelce and Mahomes reunite in a big way.

SPECIAL BONUS PICK – As if we haven’t had to endure enough these last two years, now comes news that the chicken wing shortage is even worse than first reported and we might not have any for the Super Bowl. When it comes to wings, always bet the over.

THE WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM – There are reports that the professional football team in our nation’s capital is going to announce its new name as the Commanders on Tuesday. We thought the Washington Toxins was a more fitting name, considering owner Dan Snyder has been accused of sexual misconduct and fostering a toxic work environment.

Home team in CAPS

$ Best bets

Last Week: 1-3; Best Bets: 1-0.

Season, 142-132-4; 29-14.